


I Made Friends With The Leader Of Ains Ooal Gown And Now I'm In Another World With Him?

by Dehgan



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Overlord - Maruyama Kugane & Related Fandoms
Genre: Canon Status: Diverged, Everyone Has Issues, Gen, Momonga Just Needs A Friend To Not Be Crazy, Momonga has Issues, Real Talk I'd Play Yggdrasil, Skelly Buddy, The Guardians have Issues, They're both good boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-11-15 11:42:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18072773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dehgan/pseuds/Dehgan
Summary: A Player wants to thank the person who made Yggdrasil fun for him, even though he only played the last two years of it. So determined is he that even when his whispers go ignored and his messages don't go through he belts up, gets on his mount and crosses several worlds to see said friend in person, even if it means invading his dungeon.Predictably, this goes poorly for everyone involved.





	1. An End and a Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write something about Overlord I guess. I love how he describes the game Yggdrasil. Honestly, I'd prefer to see more of the game and Momonga's time playing it with his friends. Coincidentally, this story is not about any of those things at all.
> 
> Also, this is Unbeta'd and barely checked over because it's after midnight and I just want it out. Sorry.

_This is completely ridiculous._ That’s what I was thinking while rushing through the swamp of the underworld on the back of my mount. Here I am, minutes before the end of the entirety of Yggdrasil. Am I in one of the main cities, partying? No. Am I in a Guild Hall with my friends, celebrating our last day together? I don’t have a guild or any game friends anyway so not that either.

I’m riding through the cold, wet, dark and downright spookiest world in the whole of Yggdrasil, trying to reach _him_ because he’s not answering my Whispers or checking his mail box. I stopped trying to message him an hour ago when I realized it wasn’t going to work and now I’m just rushing to try and make it in time. I have something I need to show him, a gift I need to give him as thanks for all the help he’s given me over these past two years.

I joined Yggdrasil late in its lifespan, compared to a lot of people. It was nearly two years ago to the day that I signed up in fact. Until then, I’d never had a chance to actually do something like that having lived with my parents. But upon moving out, and having my own money, I decided to splurge on something nice that I’d never had before and this seemed like just the thing.

It was confusing at first, but thanks to _him_ helping me I was able to really play and appreciate this amazing game for what it was. Without him… I’d probably have just quit. That’s why, as thanks for all his help, as thanks for all the questions he answered, and as thanks for the times we even played together, I want to give him this.

...Which would be a whole lot easier if he’d just answer one of the message I sent him, seriously! Did he just turn off all his notifications? I know he’s online, I checked and everything before I started this end run! How the heck am I going to reach him in time, anyway? What, am I going to just solo run the Great Tomb of Nazarick? Do I look like I’ve got World Guard levels or something? I’ve had Goblin **Berserkers** make fun of how ‘unoptimized’ my build is!

Well, unlike you jerks I have to do it all myself, so buzz off!

But that’s all just a bunch of distraction buzzing through my head because I’m angry. Angry about delays! That unpleasant bunch I just ran into back there really ate into my travel time, and now I’m becoming pretty sure there’s no way I’m going to make it in time!

Seriously why couldn’t _he_ have just responded to my messages or whispers or mails? Then _he_ could have just performed a Mutual Summoning, or invited me as a guest to teleport to _him_ or taken me into _his_ party and used Formation Rejoin or… something.

Glancing at the clock I see I have just minutes left. It really seems like it’s hopeless now. My chance to finally make true on that promise I made to pay _him_ back for everything, gone-

‘Ah, sorry. You’ve been trying to message me this whole time?’ A politely worded message popped up in my notifications in the corner of my vision. I’d sigh in relief, if it wasn’t for the fact that I still wouldn’t make it in time. I couldn’t just get summoned from anywhere after all. Transportation and the like are usually a little more specific about the requirements to use them, after all.

‘It’s all good.’ I message back to him even as I keep moving. My mount will keep auto-running at this point so it’s no big deal if I were to not focus on it. Besides, my skills will let me see enemies on the minimap well before they become a threat. That leaves me free to talk. ‘You were probably busy anyway, right? How did it go?’

‘It’s fine.’ I had the feeling that it was not in fact fine at all, and that it hadn’t gone how he wanted, ‘Anyway, what is it that you were messaging me for? I hope you’re not stuck in a dungeon now of all times…’

‘No, I’m not. Moreover, that only ever happened the one time anyway!’ I respond back immediately, gesturing with one hand even though I can’t be seen by the person I'm conversing with, ‘I’ve just been trying to reach you before the servers get shut off. I wanted to…. Well, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.’’

‘Ah, I see. If that’s the case then I can lend you an ear.’ The way he phrased that sounded too resigned for my tastes. I know he mentioned wanting to see his guild-mates in the end but… it sounds like more and more things didn’t go how he wanted them to.

‘I wanted to talk to you about something before the end. I’m making full speed for Nazarick, so I don’t suppose you can meet me at the entrance or teleport me down or something?’ I tell him as much. I think that maybe, just maybe I’ll make it in time. If he’ll teleport me, then I can definitely make it.

I’d say what I have and what I’m trying to do over message, but there are skills and items that can let you intercept sent messages done within a certain distance of you and given what I ran into that delayed me so much, I’m worried about more idiots hanging out in bog plotting whatever idiots do. I can’t afford another delay caused by someone looking to add one more point to their PVP score.

‘Ah… will you really even make it in time?’ His reply sounded like it was hedging something. I know that he was always cagey about letting me into the Tomb, but this is seriously cramping my time. Moreover, it’s the last day man, come on! Give me a chance to see the place before it’s gone forever! Rather, shouldn’t he have invited me in to see the place before the end all things considered!?

‘I’m going full speed now on the Metal Walker - Crimson. I might just make it.’ I can swear by that. Fast as Crimson Rocket is, I might make it with a minute and change to spare at this pace.

I can hear a buzz in my ear as he switches to voice chat over a distance rather than the text we’ve been using.

“Kidd, thank you. However, I... “ I can hear it in his voice, the melancholy weight that he carries with him like some kind of special effect aura, “I think I will spend this last bit alone. Sorry.”

I bring Crimson Rocket to a slower pace. No point in going full speed now. I… would rather have kept my promise but he sounds like he knows what he wants. Pushing it now would just be even worse than that. Whatever he thinks about it, what Momonga wants is clear. If he wants to be alone in the end then… I should respect that.

“...Alright.” I say out loud, accepting it as I come to a stop. I look up towards the sky. Its miserable, swirling Grey is still nicer than what’s outside the Arcology in the real world. Even Helheim, the world voter ‘Most Like Reality’ in response to its poisonous environs, is better than the real thing.

“Let me just say this then.” I say, willing myself to put it all into this. My last goodbye. “Thanks for everything, Momonga. You’re the reason I was able to play and enjoy this game.”

...In the end that’s really all I wanted to say. I mean, perhaps with more nuance and with the thing I put so much time into getting him but hopefully the message gets across the same.

… It still kinda sucks that I put so much effort into finding this thing not only to never use it but also to not even give it to him. Well, that’s life I guess. At least my character score must be huge from having two of them.

“...Thank you.” There’s something in Momonga’s voice that makes me feel bad about what I just said, but I’ve got no idea even what I said wrong, “Getting to teach someone wasn’t a bad thing.”

“Well, if that’s the case when you pick up your next game go ahead and post on the forums for Kidd Radical, and I’ll be there in a flash. I mean hey, I heard rumors of a sequel…” I try to cheer him up. I have to try. I hate seeing him like this, even if he’s like this half the time. He’d be telling me about something and then just pause up and get sad.

“...Hmm. I’ll keep in mind. Then, please excuse me. Take care, Kidd.” It doesn’t sound like my attempts to cheer him up worked actually. In fact, it sounds more like they might have made it even worse. It sucks to end the night like this.

So now I’m left sitting astride my noble metallic steed, which has immunity to fear, mind control and most other status effects because it’s great like that. It also even is usable in combat as a backup minion. If it’s destroyed you have to repair it and pay the costs associated, but for someone like me it’s one of the best mounts I could get in Yggdrasil. Getting this mount was something that Momonga helped him do.

Honestly, a lot of what I did in this game I ended up doing with a bit of his advice here and there. We didn’t really play together very often, but he’s been a huge part of the experience for me. Frankly he’s the reason I kept playing after the first week.

“Man, hell of a way to end things.” I let out a sigh as I lean back. The clouds overhead rumble heavily, as if ominously announcing the end of the world. I look towards my system clock. Less than two minutes left now.

I let the silence take over the area now. I’m sure the people still playing the game are celebrating, and the devs are probably spawning fireworks all over the place. I can see the messages in world chat in the corner, spamming everything. Thinking about it, that’s probably why Momonga had me muted. He would have wanted to see anything from his friends and guild members.

“... Honestly, it kinda pisses me off.” I admit to no one. I understand missing his old friends and guild-members but… I mean, I’m here for him, right? I’ve done everything I can to make friends with the guy, but it’s like he’s always holding himself back. Is he just scared to make friends again or is he worried that making new friends would betray his old ones?

“Don’t be ridiculous man.” Is all I can say. If his friends were good friends, they’d be happy for him to have someone to hang around with. Though, I guess it’s not really my place to say anything about it. In the end, all I know about Momonga is from the interacting with him through the game. I don’t know what his job is, or what else he does in real life. Honestly, he sounds youngish but I don’t even know how old he really is. I figure he’s in his 20’s but I’m not sure.

...And this might be the last I see of him.

“Maybe… we never were friends.” What a shitty thought to end the game on. Nothing to do but count down now.

 

Ten.

 

Nine.

 

Eight.

 

Seven.

 

Six.

 

Five.

 

Four.

 

Three.

 

Two.

 

One.

 

And I close my eyes as it comes. Zero.

 

…

 

…

 

 

A warm breeze blows across my skin, and I can feel my hair fluttering in the wind. It feels like I’m under a medical lamp all of a sudden.

“What the hell?” Is all I can say as I open my eyes back up. If the devs pulled a fast one on us and released a patch for the game and made it ‘Yggdrasil Rebirth’ like that rumor said-

“What the _Fuck_?” I jerk as I finish opening my eyes to a beautiful, pristine blue sky above me. A few puffy white fluffy clouds float blissfully through it. I run a hand over my face as I stare, feeling my brow furrow as I grit  my teeth, “Devs you did it again…!”

...Wait… I can feel my brow furrow? I run my hands up along my face. It’s not the same. I jerk up, looking down at my reflecting in Red Rocket’s polished surface. Plainly visible are the shock and surprise that color my reactions now.

“That’s impossible.” I murmur, seeing my reflection doing the same. This has to be fake after all. There’s rules and limits to Dive Games. Things that they either can’t or legally aren’t allowed to simulate, and what I’m seeing right now is definitely one of those things.

I finally take in the area around me and find myself in a massive, lush green plain with almost nothing in any direction, not even significant hills.

Nothing save for some ivory white walls in the far distance. A building of some sort? At least there’s some kind of landmarks here. If I’d fallen into a pristine grassy field I’d be worried I was stuck in some kind of Dev Room.

But seriously though, what the hell is going on? I try to activate my menu… only to find I can’t.

“...what..?” I can feel the breathe leave my body at that. Just… this definitely shouldn’t be possible. To be unable to open the menu at any point makes it more difficult to log out if not in theory impossible. Any company that did that would be shredded to pieces since it’s cyber-kidnapping.

This…

“This can’t be real, right?” I ask no one again, turning my attention back down to Red Rocket and my reflection in it.

I look just as lost as I feel.


	2. We're not in Neo Tokyo Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our intrepid hero tries to figure out exactly what the heck is going on but keeps getting distracted by the miscellanea of forced inter-dimensional travel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Time, on Kidd Radicals Radical Kid Adventures for Radical Kids our intrepid hero was left stunned, flabbergasted and other buck fifty words for shocked. We now return to your regularly scheduled memes.

“Okay.” I say out loud, more for my own comfort than anything else. Hearing a voice instead of just the whistling, whispering winds of these wind open plains is making me feel a bit more at ease… or at least giving me something to focus on that isn’t freaking the fuck out, “Okay, okay okay. Right. Yes. Breathe.”

That’s it me, breathe. In… and out. In… and out.

Right. Good. Excellent.

Thank god for being a completely unflappable bad ass, otherwise I might have freaked out and done something embarrassing. I’m definitely feeling okay right now, and not freaking out at all!

Oddly, that’s actually true. Once I get past my surprise, shock and some other word that starts with an S, this is…

“Actually, this is kind of rad.” I tell my imaginary friend who might as well turn out to be real too at this point. I mean, considering everything isn’t that pretty believable? I mean, I’m not trying to jump to conclusions or anything but I’ve read enough Light Novels to know where this is going. 

I didn’t even have to get hit by a truck or anything! Hopefully I didn’t die to some flaw in the programming that turned my brain off when the game was shut down. I’d hate to prove my Dad right about the evils of Video Games or something. That would be the opposite of Rad.

Looking around me at the wide open world I take in a deep breath through my nose. It smells amazing. Fresh and Alive in a way that I’ve never experienced before, even in the Arcology. Not even the ‘gardens’ they had were this nice. They always had that same smell that covered the place. That ‘artificial clean’ that told you that you weren’t outside, that kind of smell. I mean, not that you could breathe safely outside considering the poisonous fog and acid rain and general nastiness.

Anyway, what I’m getting at is that the world smells like I never knew it could smell. Like that kinda smell that really old people say that they remember from when they grew up but I never believed them because I can’t imagine anyone letting a place like this turn out like the world is in the year of our Corporations 2138.

I think the thing I’m going to miss the most in this fantasy wonderland I may or may not have been sent to but I think I’ve been sent to is going to be the internet.

Okay, I probably shouldn’t go getting too hyped up. I mean I might just be in a coma, or just trapped in a deathgame set up by the devs for the people who remained to the very end. I kinda doubt it considering I don’t have access to the menu. Still, let’s try a few functions and see what happens.

Can’t use the main menu. Can’t use the item or equip menus. Can’t seem to access ANY of the menus actually, not even by using the mental macros or motion macros.  If I can’t access the menus you can’t use the GM Call anyway, so that’s out...

So that’s a point against this being some kind of deathgame by the Devs. Besides, there’s no one bragging about us being his personal ‘Life or Death’ entertainment. 

...Actually, how can I even know if there’s an ‘us’? I could be all alone in some fantasy world, set adrift without anything to anchor me. 

That sounds shitty, so I really hope it’s not the case. 

Okay, let’s stop fantasizing and think about this situation clearly. What are my problems right now?

I’m in an unknown location. I’m probably, definitely not playing Yggdrasil anymore. I don’t know if I have access to any of my skills, and I can’t open up my inventory menu so I can’t access whatever’s in there. I don’t have access to any of my mounts or anything either, except for Crimson Rocket. Meaning all I know I have right now is the gear I have on and… well, maybe I can cast magic. There’s nothing around right now, so here’s nothing…

“[Create Light].” I intone. I can feel something driving me as I say the words and I hold snap my fingers once. An orb of light appears between my thumb and pointing finger and grows in size until it’s about the size of a mandarin orange. Unfurling my hand it just stays there, hovering. 

Well, it’s an orb of light that casts its own shadows. It’s not obvious with how bright the sun is now, but they’re there.

[Create Light] is a 1st Tier Spell that falls into the Utility category. It’s something that a lot of people learned early on if they didn’t have access to low-light vision or darkvision. The spell actually has a lot of variability in terms of use. You can make it follow you above your head, set it to stay at a certain point in the area, send it out ahead of you quite a distance. It’s even really cheap in terms of MP cost. 

Of course, most people consider it a waste since you can just get an item to give you those kinds of vision if you don’t have them, or just get a ring that puts out light as well as other bonuses. Those people haven’t done as much work into learning the way mobs respond to light. The devs were crafty, and by using [Create Light] or [Knock] you can get past enemies easily.

Or use it to mess with players. Something I found out that most people don’t know is that [Knock] works on more than just locked chests and doors. 

But I’m getting off track again at this point. Focus me!

So I can use magic, somehow. I seem to just know how to use my spells. Great. Excellent. I can protect myself now. I don’t really… have anything to test my Melee Skills on so I guess I will just have to leave that be for now. Plus, I don’t actually know how to use a sword in real life anyway. 

“Well that’s good, isn’t it Crimson?” I speak to the only other thing present in the conversational space this time instead of myself or no one at all.

“A. _Firm_ ative.” A mechanical voice pops out of the thing I’m sitting. The big, metal, battle chicken that I’m riding. The smaller cousin of the literal war machine called Warmachine, one of the most dreaded enemies that you could run into in the ‘Wandering Machine City’ event that would appear and disappear in different worlds.

It was one of the most difficult to receive rewards, requiring not only combat ability but reasoning and logical deduction.

Because of that, almost no one had them. The basic Metal Walker was more common, but the ‘Ace’ colored versions of them were about as common as… as… as something pretty uncommon but not unheard of, okay? I grew up in an Arcology I don’t even know what scarcity is, shut up!

As an aside, I know Momonga has the Black variant that I’m pretty sure has negative energy attacks and a Death Gaze it can deploy by opening up its faceplate to reveal its ‘eye’. Say what you want about the guy, he stays true to his typing and doesn’t diverge no matter what. I always liked that about him, because I’m the same. Though in my case it’s through a combination of stubbornness and not having done the research before hand.

More to the point, my mount can now talk and is apparently aware.

“...You doing alright?” I ask Crimson Rocket, entirely aware of what he has inside that flashy chassis of his and wanting no part with it, “Any problems, all that?”

“All syst _ems_ … _nominal_.” Crimson informs me of his status in a voice that’s rather androgynous but leans more towards masculine than feminine if I had to pick. Seriously, it’s such a soothing voice if it weren’t for the worrying and upsetting inflections he’s putting on some of the things he said. I realize the ‘Wandering Machine City’ was supposed to be post societal collapse and all that so it makes sense the machines would have quirks but seriously did he have to be so creepy?

I don’t say anything to do with that, and just pat him on the ‘head’ instead, “Good to hear.” 

Okay, new problem. My incredibly dangerous top-class mount with all kinds of combat abilities is awake, aware and responsive. Gonna have to be more careful about saying things out loud now. That’s kind of a pain, since I’ve always had a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I can mouth off to someone. 

… On the other hand, I can probably use him to take verbal notes so that’s kinda rad actually. No, that’s  _ Super Rad _ ! I’ve got a nuclear-equipped, bipedal light battle tank! Take  _ that  _ you whiny puritans! The ‘Wandering Machine City’ was an awesome event, even if I didn’t figure out the ‘true secret’ in the end that Momonga mentioned. It’s a shame but the whole thing needs you to be level 80 and it came at a bad time for me to have had long to get the whole thing done. Even getting the Crimson Rocket was mostly due to Momonga helping me out in the end.

He said it was because he happened to need to go there as well, but it’s obvious that under his negative karma, negative affinity and overblown dramatic effects on all his gear that he’s actually a pretty big softie. I mean, he’s the kinda guy who’d help you out just because you were in need.

Wouldn’t give you the shirt off his back though, since it’s probably a rare collectible and good luck  getting him to part with any of those.

Wait, distracted again. I need someone to keep watch for me while I figure things out. Glancing up at the sky, I note that the sun itself is actually sinking. Guess it’s not midnight here. 

Or maybe it is and this place is just positioned weirdly, but given the arc of the sun and its position in the sky I’d say we’re probably closer to the equator than away from it. Saved by math again! I’m sorry for asking when I’d ever use what you were teaching me in real life teach. In my defense, I wasn’t allowed to play video games until I left home, so I couldn’t have known how useful angle math would be-

Damnit! 

“Crimson Rocket, here’s an order. Keep an eye on our surroundings and let me know if anything changes.”

“Un. _ Der.  _ _ Stood. _ ” Crimson responds, lowering it’s stance slightly as I watch it start to rotate its ‘head’ slowly to monitor the area. 

Alright, now that-

“Unidentified  _ Birds _ spotted.” Crimson interrupts, making me regret everything in my life up until that moment. 

“Anything  _ imporant  _ changes.” I state with more emphasis, “Like probably hostiles appearing, or sudden and strange changes in our surroundings.”

“Af _ firm _ ative.” Crimson responds, and slows his spin to a more sedate pace. Alright, good for you buddy. You just… keep doing your scary battlemech thing. 

Where was I? Right, problems. Time of day different, not a big problem. Magic? Usable for some reason. Good. Combat abilities? I don’t know if I can swing a sword but maybe I can just spam attack skills like they’re magic? I’ll need to test out and see what my phyiscal abilities are. If they’re like what I was capable of in the game then I can probably at least run away from my problems. 

Fantasy does reflect real life after all! Imagine that.

Okay, other problems? Especially problems I can deal with? I can’t access my inventory screens so I can’t get to my items but… I mean, if I can just use magic then maybe I can just reach out and grab something? 

Yeah, like that’d-

Wait. 

I raise one hand, eyeing the air suspiciously like it’s about to do something really freaky. I mean, there’s no one watching me right now so it’s not like I’d look silly if anyone saw, right? I mean, except for Crimson but I’ve already talked to myself in front of him so he already thinks I’m insane anyway, probably. 

Plus he’s a robot so he probably doesn’t even care.

Reaching out with one hand, I try to ‘focus’ the same way that I did when I was casting magic. This time however I focus on the ‘idea’ of opening up my inventory… and my hand slides into a ripple in space. Inside I can see a bountiful shiny horde of immediately useful things. This signifies that I’m poking at my main inventory rather than one of my many extra item boxes, which are all full of bags of holding that are holding even more things. 

Don’t look at me like that, I don’t exactly have a guild base or treasury to dump this stuff off in! What am I supposed to do, leave it behind like some sort of sensible person instead of whaling so hard I got a concerned email from the devs to get more Item Box Expansion items? 

“Spatial Distortion.  **Detected** .” Crimson Rocket helpfully informs me as it locks onto the hole in space my hand is disappearing into. 

“Great job.” I pat Crimson Rocket as I praise him. I mean, I’d call a Spatial Distortion important so he’s really just following his job. 

Crimson just makes a weird tweeting noise in response while I draw my hand back out of the hole empty. 

Okay so I have access to items. Considering what I have in there that actually solves most of my immediate problems. I keep plenty of food, drinks and various kinds of potions in my quick access slots so I don’t need to worry about dying of something lame like hunger or thirst. 

Considering that I can actually taste the inside of my own mouth, that means I also get to find out what Dragon Steak tastes like finally. So that’s another positive. 

So the remaining problem is my crippling feeling of loneliness! Fantasy, Reflection, Real Life, etc. 

It’s a long shot, but I start trying to use the GM Call the same way I used magic and access my items and… that’s a no go. Trying to use Chat ends up the same, and so does an attempt to ‘Summon Greater Internal Mail’. 

Well,  that’s a bust. There’s probably not even anyone to get a message to-

Wait. [Message], that’s it! The spell I started spamming once I was in the same World as Momonga to try and get his attention only for him to block it the entire time! Message can be used to communicate with other players when they’re within a certain distance, but it runs the risk of interception or distortion over longer distances depending on the caster. One other thing of note about it is that [Message] can be used to contact GM’s if nothing else can!

“[Message].” I cast the spell and feel a strange ripple pass through me, signifying the casting of magic yet again. Okay now to try and send it to the GM’s. 

...Damnit, I’m feeling nothing. It’s like trying to will  someone dead. All you end up with is a headache and a weird look on your face. 

Man I wish Momonga was here-

There’s a clicking sort of sensation and then I hear a voice.

“What..?” I could recognize that sound of confused irritation anywhere, that’s definitely the Collector King of Megadeath himself!

“Hey, how’s it going?” I respond like a cool guy, and definitely not like I’m full to burst with joy that my skeleton-senpai is in this situation with me, “So I’m in the middle of a wide grassy plain and I have no idea what’s going on. Do you?” 

“...Kidd? I see, so someone else is...” I can hear the gears turning in his head already. I knew he’d be on the ball when it comes to something like this happening. I bet he’s already got it all figured out. I mean, he’s the guy who taught me all about how to play Yggdrasil, and not in the sense of how to use commands. Momonga’s crazy canny and cunning, and he’s got this way of getting into the heads of his opponents.

Any time we ran into a Player who wanted to start a fight, he’d just wipe the floor with them if he couldn’t get them to back down. 

Though later on, he made me do it for him. He said it was important for me to learn PVP directly since there wasn’t a better way, but sometimes I wondered if he just didn’t want to deal with having to negate their immunities and then instant death them. I mean, I can’t blame him. Crushing hearts left and right probably gets boring eventually.

… I mean,  **I** can’t see it getting boring but I’m not a 10 year pro like he is.

“ Kidd.” Momonga’s voice interrupts me, “You said you were in a wide, grass plain? What else can you see?” 

I look around again, “Well, there’s the occasional raise in the land and a tree here and there. In the distance I can see what looks like a bit of forest on the horizon. A bit closer than that there’s...” 

I narrow my eyes and find to my surprise that I can see it clearly even though I’m so far away. Chalk one up for having my body from the game, “It’s a bunch of ivory white structures. A large, central building that looks like a temple, or...”

...No way. I mean I was CLOSE when whatever this was happened but I mean…

“Hmm. I see. Stay where you are for now. If things go like I suspect...” I’m practically vibrating in place as Momonga talks, “You’ll get to see Nazarick after all.” 

 

Fuck yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the Next Chapter Our Intrepid Hero will brave the Horrors of the Great Tomb of Nazarick. These horrors include: Tsunderes, Friendly Devils, Cool Butlers and a whole buttload of stupidly attractive women I mean seriously you guys did you have nothing better to do than spend your NPC levels of sexy maids?


	3. Finally Some Fucking Nazarick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our Intrepid Hero finally gets to see the place that he's been dreaming of for years and meets a motley crew of misfit henchmen with hearts of gold. 
> 
> Slightly tarnished gold though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't have a beta so, I'm sorry about that.

Chapter 3: Finally Some Fucking Nazarick

 

You know, it is kinda funny that it took us being thrown into another world for Momonga to finally let me enter Nazarick. I mean, no matter how you look at it, isn’t that just kinda ridiculous? You’d think he would have let me see part of it at least. Momonga never even so much took me to the entrance to show me where it was. I had to figure all that out myself.

 

I mean, it wasn’t that hard since there were plenty of sites out there about dissecting the ‘Nazarick Massacre’. Frankly, it’s stunning that more people didn’t try to invade Nazarick with intelligence like that out there but… I guess seeing the largest Raid ever launched get destroyed probably broke the backs of anyone who would care to try.

 

I actually read an interesting study on the real life cost of that failed invasion was estimate to be about ten million yen, roughly. Between the amount of rare items lost when players were killed, the amount of supplies and Yggdrasil Gold that went into preparations and purchasing of Mercenary Players and NPCs some people actually estimate it might be closer to fifteen million yen.

 

So it’s probably more along the lines of anyone who could muster the forces to attempt holds back for the sake of their pocketbooks. Not that I can blame them, from all the research I did into Nazarick and its defenses that were still posted it sounds like a nightmare that’s even worse than the ‘Big 9’ Dungeons or one of the really insane event ones.

 

The one thing that no one knows about is what destroyed the raid. I’ve seen a lot of theories on it though. I think my favorite one was the theory that the floor got around DOT resistance by having a regeneration effect… and then having a second effect that caused healing ‘damage’ to be reversed. For the life of me I can’t figure out how it’s possible but it sounds more convincing than ‘the Devs let AOG cheat!!!’.

 

...What the hell did he mean by ‘if things go as I expect’.

 

Also now that I think back on it his voice sounds a little bit different than it did before. Deeper. I wasn’t really paying attention because I could tell it was him from the moment he started talking. Weird, that. I mean, thinking about it I look like my character did so he… probably does too?

 

Huh. Skeleton’s have rich, deep voices. I honestly never would have guessed. I kinda figured they’d have high pitched ‘nyeeeheheheheeeh’ sorta voices but life is full of surprises. Like being sent to another world when you stayed up late playing a video game.

 

God I hope something starts moving the plot along or I’m going to sit here and talk to myself all nigh-

 

“Humanoid Figure… _**DETECTED**_.” Crimson Rocket informs me in that wonderfully smooth yet unsettling voice of his, “System Change to **Combat Mode** -”

 

“Nope, no, hold on. Prepare for intercept, but only if they make a hostile move.” I interrupt my maniacal machine mount before it can try to unleash its Nuclear Blast. The last thing we need is a giant damn explosion going off. I might be geared out to survive it for the most part and shrug off the majority of the status effects with a high probability… but that doesn’t mean I WANT to. Plus, I designed that strategy around dropping the Blast while moving at full speed in a pass.

 

Standing still is a no when it comes to fiery, concussy, status-effecty death booms. That’s one of the things that Momonga taught me when he learned me all about the ways and mysteries of PK! Thanks to him I can make stuff deader!

 

“Acknowledged.” Crimson Rocket states at some point during my daydream, “Figure is approaching. Switching to **Combat** **-**

 

“No.” I tap Crimson on the head lightly, making him let out a whirring sound as his sensors spin in response, “I mean an **actual** threatening move. If he starts casting magic or throws a weapon at us or something, then you can vaporize him. How’s that?”

 

“Acknowledge _d._ _Master_ **.”** Crimson intones, the voice becoming more feminine and husky. Actually, the voice in general has switched around repeatedly. Almost like it has a selection of words it had heard from various people at different times and places it was using to string together sentences.

 

I mean, it’s pretty cool. It adds to the whole ‘malfunctioning machine’ aesthetic- oh our humanoid figure is here.

 

Or rather, he’s close enough that I don’t need to squint to make out his features. Even though he’s moving at quite the impressive pace as he makes his approach, his uniform isn’ teven slightly out of place. And speaking of him and his uniform...

 

He’s like the Ur-Butler. The Butler that all others aspire to be. His expression is severe yet undeniably genteel. His uniform is crisp even as he approaches me, unbothered by the extreme speed he is moving at in the least. His white-gray hair is neatly parted evenly, and his tightly trimmed fully beard shows he’s a person who puts a great deal of care into his appearance.

 

One of his eyes is covered by shadow from the setting sun while the other is focused on me and I can tell I’m being measured instantly. My posture, appearance and all that are obvious… but I’ve got a feeling he’s also grasping for a measure of my combat potential. I mean, certain parts of how I am going to fight should be obvious given how I’m kitted out, but it’s surprising how many people don’t expect a Maximized Enhanced Triple Magic Missile.

 

Still, somehow I get the feeling that he’s gotten a measure of my magical capacity as well. At least somewhat of one.

 

I don’t make any moves as he approaches, remaining atop Crimson Rocket as he slows down a polite distance from us and then makes his approach with stiff yet nimble movements.

 

Man this butler is SO COOL! I’ve met actual butlers who should be taking lessons from this guy, honestly. In fact he reminds me of someone that I remember hearing about…

 

“Pardon my intrusion.” A smooth voice interrupts my attempts to reclaim my memories as the Butler speaks to me. He’s just far enough away that we can still use a normal speaking voice without drawing close enough to be a threat. Or at least an obvious threat. People like me know how dangerous someone can be at any distance.

 

“My Master, the Lord of this place, wishes to meet with you. If you would be so kind as to oblige him?” The Butler bows, just the right amount to show obeisance without dipping too low. Seriously, what a ridiculously good butler. I bet he puts just the right amount of jam on toast.

 

“Sure.” I shrug and answer affirmatively, willing to go along with this mysterious butler and his mysterious request. Following people who ask me to follow them has never gone wrong for me before, except for all the times it has!

 

“One question first.” I say as the Butler pulls back from his deferential bow, “What does ‘Momonga’ mean to you?”

 

There, I can see it. A small reaction. He’s good, there’s no denying that, but I can see the slightest tightening in his brow at my statement. Of course, I’m not certain what it means but if the situation goes as I expect, then…

 

“It is a _most_ noble name.” Is his answer, and I feel a bit more relaxed as the last bit of restrained tension leaves his stance, “Then, you _are_ the one my Master has informed me of. Please follow me, Honored Guest.”

 

Ooooh, Honored Guest! I wonder how that differs from a regular guest? Well, considering it’s a tomb and home to the ‘Most Evil Guild Ains Ooal Gown’ it probably means I don’t have to spend time in the Pits of Despair or muck about in the Shallows of Shivering.

 

Or get murdered by one of the Floor Guardians, in actual reality. That’s a nice thing to avoid, because all I’ve seen in my research is that they’re all terrifying and well optimized as well as being flashy and unique.

 

“Okay Crimson, let’s follow the nice man.” I pat my faithful mechanical mount on the head once, and their sensor lights flicker blue, then green.

 

“Designating _Unknown_ **01** as ‘Nice Man’. Confirmed.” Crimson Rocket informs the Butler, myself and anything within shouting distance of us of his change in target registry. Thanks Crimson, really appreciate it.

 

I can read a shift in the Butler’s expression in response to what Crimson says, so I just grin and pat Crimson on the head before responding, “Sorry about that, he’s ‘special’.”

 

“This Unit is the _highest_ grade of **Metal Walker** .” Crimson intones seriously, “ Its’ rarity is  maximum .”

 

God dammit Crimson Rocket, will you please stop.

 

I see a twitch at the edge of the Butler’s mouth that that I am reasonably confident is a smile. Making good first impressions, that’s what we’re doing today! Definitely not making an **ass** out of myself in front of the Ur-Butler.

 

No, rather, it is my Maximum Rarity Mount that’s making an ass out of me, for me! That’s technology for you folks! It cuts out the need for you to put your foot in your mouth and puts it there for you!

 

While I’m busy sulking on that the Butler turns and then _moves,_ blurring as he starts to disappear into the distance towards the looming walls of the forbidding tomb. His speed’s impressive… but with a single change of posture I urge Crimson forward, sending him bursting after the man at a full pace and letting us catch up to him. We were only a few kilometers away from the stone walls by my guess so it’s not like it’s going to take any real TIME to reach them at the pace that Crimson can set.

 

Hell, it wouldn’t take long by the pace that I could set in Yggdrasil which is probably the pace I can set in ‘real life’ now that I’ve become one with my Avatar. Man, I’m really glad I designed my avatar to be so similar to ‘myself’ in build. It’d be weird to be tall and probably throw off all my movements or something.

 

As we draw closer to the structure, I’m struck by the majesty of those immense walls… and the majesty of what lies inside. So this is Nazarick…

 

It’s just as majestic as I imagined. It’s like stepping into a hidden, forbidden, holy ground that’s not been observed in years. At first glance, it might seems like any old, lost graveyard. It’s true that the regular graves are disorganized now… but it’s obvious that that is only the case due to the land shifting over countless hundreds of years as happens naturally. If anything, it just shows the age and majesty of the area.

 

The stone work on the mausoleums surround the great central temple are all magnificent and the reliefs are breathtaking. When this place was designed it must have taken a huge amount of time. Was it like this when they claimed it for their base, or did they modify even the entrance of their Tomb?

 

I notice the Butler’s attention has shifted onto me as he slows to a walk and we both approach the central building.

 

“Just trying to appreciate everything. I never had the chance to see even this part of Nazarick before today.” I apologize to him. It never hurts to be polite, even to the help! That’s what mother always said, at least in the time he was able to spend around her. That and other lessons she tried to impart in what chance she had.

 

The Ur-Butler had one hand behind his back now while the other came up to finger his beard consideringly, “It’s only natural to appreciate the majesty of Nazarick. Regrettably we lack the time to do so. My Master wishes us to report to the Sixth Floor post-haste. He also requests that your Mount remain outside.”

 

…yeah, he’s still mad about that time I accidentally misjudged the range on Crimson’s Nuclear Blast. It wasn’t my fault though! I didn’t know that the Crimson one had Extended Meta-Magic applied to that spell!

 

Still, he’s the owner of this place. Not like I’ve got any cause to not comply. What, am I supposed to think he’s trying to separate me from my mount in order to put me in a disadvantageous position just incase he decides to eliminate me as a threat to Nazarick which is in an unusual situation or something? Because Momonga would  do that to someone, but he wouldn’t do it to _me_.

 

I mean, he is the guy who declared that he didn’t want to fight, got an aggressive party to lower their guard and then eliminated them casually. He’s so cool like that. ‘Victory by any means’ is what his combat philosophy embodies. He even went and declared ‘Ains Ooal Gown is a guild of _evil_ Grotesques after all’ when they acted shocked.

 

It was SO COOL.

 

But enough gushing about how cool my senpai is, for now at least. Following the request I hop off of Crimson Rocket and do a little cool flip just because I can. As I land I turn and pat him on the hip, “Crimson Rocket, switch to Sentry mode.”

 

“Order _acknowledged_. System Switch to **Sentry Mode**.” Crimson intones and stamps his feet, once for each foot. His posture shifts and he raises his ‘head’ higher and begins to rotate it to observe for enemies.

 

Good, so it does work like that. I got lucky with my earlier order but I’m glad to see what used to be menu commands or something I had to use shortcuts to do I can just order him vocally for. It also gives me a better grasp of just what kind of intelligence that Crimson Rocket has.

 

“So, let’s go.” I state simply to the Butler, my business with Crimson done now that he’s in Overwatch. Hopefully he doesn’t shoot too many birds or anything. That’d be kind of problematic if he did. I don’t know why I think he’d do that, but he DID seem _real_ interested in that bird earlier. Plus if I was a mechanical statue or golem I know I’D hate birds with a passion.

 

“Of course. Follow me, please.” I see the man tense slightly, “Regrettably, we do not have the time to take a leisurely stroll or I would be glad to show you the majesty of the Supreme Being’s domain. We shall have to take the ‘express route’ as they say.”

 

I grin, feeling my body tense as I consider it. This will be my first chance to really test out my physical abilities in this new world. Taking a nice sprint through my senpai’s base will be a good test in that regard.

 

I see that flickering ghost of a smile on his face again before he disappears.

And I chase right after him.

 

It’s impossible to describe how incredible this feels, how freeing it is to be able to move with such speed and intensity. My ever steep feels like it should rocket me into the sky, and I’m sure I’m running faster than even a speeding locomotive using nothing but pure physicality. Beyond even that, my eyes are sharp enough that even though we’re moving at such a rate I can still see everything clearly. Not only is my strength enhanced, but my senses as well. I’m certainly I’m well beyond what any human should be capable of.

 

Is that an effect of my level, or is it _that_? If it matches my guess then it’s probably a bit of both.

 

After all, my character was never strictly speaking  human .

 

Even with all my agility keeping pace with the Butler isn’t a strictly speaking easy task. Especially since I’m fairly sure he’s actually picking up the pace as we go along. Not simply running, now we’re taking full advantage of our shared high agility to take paths not normally possible. I make it a point to stick as closely to where he steps as possible in order to avoid setting off any traps I might bumble into.

 

Getting teleported into a pitch black room where you take scratch damage till you die didn’t really sound like my cup of tea anyway.

 

I’d like to say I was able to appreciate Nazarick’s coolness while doing this but honestly my journey could be summed up pretty readily as….

 

Graves! Nice.

 

More Graves! Still nice.

 

Even More Graves! I mean, it IS the ‘Great Tomb of Nazarick’. Being a large graveyard just makes sense.

 

Oh, a cave with a lake! From a report I saw online I heard that there’s actually something incredibly dangerous in the lake. If I recall it was a giant golem that was as strong as a raid boss.

 

Next is a cold, forbidding wasteland whose chill bites to the bone! Thankfully I’m geared out to resist this level of freezing damage without complaint. I remember hearing that this level also had a movement speed debuff, but it doesn’t seem to be in effect. It makes sense, considering everything.

 

Finally, we reach a floor that I recognize clearly. After all, this is where almost every log of an invasion of Yggdrasil ended. A great, beautiful starry sky dominates the air above us. A huge, towering singular tree takes up a great swath of the visible view, towering even over the edges of the immense structure I am taking my first steps into.

 

This is the Arena, the place that every invasion save one ended in. The Guardians here were fearsome indeed, and countless raids died under a deluge of high level enemies that were supported and buffed by the NPCs that protected this floor.

 

Coincidentally I learned this from a blog post written by someone who had repeatedly invaded Nazarick and failed every time on this floor. He’d developed an obsession with the ‘cute dark elf wearing a skirt’ and said he felt her designer must have been a kindred spirit.

 

But insane people on the internet with weird fetishes being set aside and cheerfully forgotten, I instead focus on what I can see as I come to a stop next to the Butler who had guided me here. Hidden in the shadow of this pillar I can clearly make out the whole of the arena, except for what the pillar is directly blocking me from. Conveniently, this allows me to take in most everything important.

 

The rows and rows of seating have simple golems in them, all of them currently inanimate and doing nothing, so that’s not interesting. What is interesting is what else is in the arena. Six figures stand in a straight row, looking up at another figure standing in a box set above the regular seats in the arena.

 

Each of the figures standing on the floor of the arena were new to him, and he took them in each one at a time.

 

One was a short, positively stacked little girl in a delightfully frilly dress. She carried with her a parasol that was currently having its sharp tip pressed against the earth as she gazed up at the one standing over all of them with a serene, admiring expression on her face. Judging her combat abilities was difficult at a glance, but something in her posture screamed ‘dangerous’ to me. It was the sort of absolute confidence only the truly foolish or truly dangerous possess and as Momonga once said to me ‘true fools can be truly dangerous’.

 

Next was a massive being, obviously one of the Insect Grotesque races judging from appearance alone. However, it was also obvious when you looked at him that he was a warrior-type fighter. As if the massive halberd of ice wasn’t obvious, his chitinous body was styled like the armor plates of a Samurai’s equipment. Also, this lord of vermin had a chilling aura around him. Combine that with the ice that seemingly grew straight off his body and it was obvious what element he favored.

 

Following the large insect was a matching duo of Dark Elves, like the ones mentioned in the reports I’d gathered. They both had stunning, sun-blonde hair that delightfully contrasted their dark skins. They also both wore more modern clothing. One wore a suit and the other a similar top but a short skirt that showed off their smooth, lithe legs. The suited one had a nearly visible aura of excitement around them, while the skirted one seemed like they were about to start shaking at any moment.

 

I have no idea what that guy on that report was talking about, the skirted one is CLEARLY a boy. I mean, it’s obvious. Just look at the ears and the curve of his hips.

 

Putting aside people who can’t sport gender dimorphism I continue my observations.

 

After the dynamic duo comes a very handsome man in a red, pinstripe suit. He’s got a tall yet lanky build and a messy set of black hair. The most obviously inhuman feature about him aside from is his long, armored tail I can spot a pair of spectacles on his face as his tail twitches. I’ve also got a feeling he’s already spotted me even though I should be out of his field of vision. When he adjusts his spectacles as I cant my head to one side I get that feeling confirmed. Interesting.

 

Last and not least at all is the stunning, regal beauty that stands tall and proud at the head of them all. Her long, black hair cascades down her back and hides her most of her face from me. But from what I can see, I feel comfortable in calling her one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen, period. She has a pair of large black wings that flare out at the moment, circling her and emphasizing her life giving hips while naturally drawing the eyes upwards.

 

If it weren’t for the horn on her head I’d think she was some kind of fertility goddess figure brought to life.

 

And standing above all of them is someone I’ve been waiting to see all day. Momonga is in fine form, kitted out in some of the best gear I’ve ever seen him in and wielding a staff I’ve never seen before, but I can tell just by looking at it that it’s a weapon of immense power. The presence it gives off is almost as intense as Momonga’s own. Even though I’m level 100 and I’ve designed my gear set to be resistant to the effects he puts off, I can still taste it from here.

 

The force of an overwhelming existence.

 

Man, I’m getting excited just from being here. I really, really want to have a mock battle with him kitted out like that. I’d almost certainly get slaughtered but it’d be worth it to see what Momonga was like at his best.

 

Then he turns his eyes onto me. It’s something I feel as much as see. His skeletal face is completely expressionless even now that we’ve changed worlds which makes reading him… difficult for me. Add in his voluminous robes and I can’t try to read his body posture either. Besides, he doesn’t even have any muscles to give off rogue twitches for me to read.

 

“Ah, and here is Sebas now.” His voice booms out over the whole arena as he gestures towards where we were both standing. The now named Butler steps out and I follow him after a moment, “Along with my guest...”

 

Every eye in the arena now turns onto me, measuring me in those moments. Each of the people there has a different expression as they look me over whilst I stand besides one of their own.

 

The red eyes of the stacked little girl and the visible fangs as she bears smiles courteously at my presence signify her as a vampire and a _super cute_ one at that. Honestly whoever designed her has some A++ tastes!

 

Hopefully that smile is a polite how do you do and not because I look like a delicious treat!

 

I mean delicious treat in a eat me kind of way, not a ‘getting eaten’ kind of way if you know what I mean.

 

The frosty insect’s gaze feels like he’s examining my equipment as much as my posture. I’ve got nothing to hide on that front. My Abyssinal Overcoat is a top quality piece of medium armor that boosts my defenses exactly where I need them to be along with my other equipment. Though perhaps he’s more interested in the trio of visible weapons I am carrying. I’ve picked up a few skills and abilities that let me be able to equip multiple weapons and swap quickly and freely between them without the need of using my menus. That let’s me carry a number of specialized weapons instead of needing to fret over what particular sword to use that day.

 

The Frosty Samurai Beetle shifts his halberd in what might be a salute, and might be a threat of what happens if I step out of line.

 

The two dark elves stare at me with naked curiosity more than anything. The suited girl more than the dress clad boy of course. Still, both of them aren’t picking me apart like the others are. They seem to be of the opinion that if I’m here as Momonga’s guest than they don’t need to do anything. It’s nice to be trusted immediately.

 

Or maybe they just assume that since I’m in their turf they can bury me under and avalanche of Black and Green dragons if I step out of line. That’s possible too.

 

Following them is the devilishly handsome fellow who simply smiles at me as he adjusts his spectacles and honestly that grin of his is giving me some confusing feelings I don’t really want to deal with right now so let’s move right along to the last.

 

Actually, somehow the way she looks me over makes me feel like a piece of prime meat being put in front of a carnivore. It’s nothing in the way she’s carrying herself or on her face. She simply graces me with a serene and inviting smile as she regards me as if she was for all the world a pure being.

 

Being completely honest out of all of them, somehow that statuesque stunner scares me the most and for the life of me I can’t figure out _why_. It’s like some instinct is telling me that if I’m not careful she’ll steal something precious from me I’ll never get back.

 

And above it all Momonga looks down on me with a burning red light filling each socket, clutching his staff. I can tell by just looking at him he’s handling this situation with casual ease. I bet he didn’t even have those moments of confusion I struggle with at the start. He’s always been cool as a cucumber that’s been in the freezer for 72 hours.

 

… Getting to see him here in Nazarick fills me with a special kind of feeling. I like it. I really like it-

 

Wait.

 

Hold on.

 

I was coming here to Nazarick, straight for Momonga for a very specific reason.

 

And now I remember it! My promise, I can fulfill it! It’s not like I said I’d give it to him before the game ends after all! As long as we’re both still here, then I can do it here and now.

 

“Welcome to the Great Tomb of Nazarick!” Momonga spreads his arms wide as he booms out his welcome to me, and I honestly feel myself have to fight back the emotions that are springing up in me at that instant. All this time, all this waiting and I’m finally here. Who cares if the world may or may not have ended and I was cast into another dimension? I finally get to see the place he spoke of so lovingly!

 

“It’s an honor to finally be here, Sensei!” I can’t restrain my grin and don’t bother trying as I step forward, making a slow approach towards Momonga even as I spread my own arms in return, “Hopefully I’ll get a chance to see it in more detail before you hurry me out.”

 

He laughs at my joke, a few grim sounding chuckles escaping from him before he turns his attention back towards the whole of the room, “Now that my guest and Sebas have arrived, we can continue-”

 

“Ah!” I speak up, interrupting Momonga. As I do so, I feel some very intense focus coming from my left and I rub the back of my head as I continue, “Sorry, but before that I have something _really_ important for you! Important enough I wanted to get it out of the way before you made any plans, because it might affect them.”

 

...The pressure on me from the left lessens just a bit at that. Great, I don’t need to be as worried about being murdered!

 

I’ve only got one chance to make an introduction, and I know EXACTLY how to make it count.

 

Momonga returns his focus to me, those beady red points beating down on me as he does so, “Oh? Something that important? Sebas didn’t report anything above… Did you perhaps see something of the change over?”

 

“It happened in an instant!” I state bluntly in response to his question, “One second, swamp ambiance. The next? The warmth of the sinking sun on me and the feel of a cool breeze. But, that’s not what I wanted to bring up.”

 

I can feel Momonga’s interest as I reach behind me and under one of the tails of my long, trailing scarf to conceal as I reach into my inventory space. I know exactly where it is and what it looks like. I’ve obsessed over it for so long that it’s engraved into my memory.

 

“Momonga, I’ve followed through on that promise to you!” I can see Momonga’s eyes widen as I pull out the proof of that statement and raise it up for him, “Here it is, the last unknown of The Twenty!”

 

In the palm of my hand I hold a statue that pulses with a presence that is undeniably the very essence of life itself. The figure is that of a woman clothed in a thin dress, heavily pregnant. Her posture and the way she cradles her full belly fills those who view it with a sense of peace, as if being embraced by a loving mother.

 

What she cradles has a glowing, internal light that pulses in rhythm with something. A heartbeat, perhaps?

 

My grin grows wider and wider still as I see Momonga’s jaw drop open, “I found it before the end, the Idol of True Rebirth!”

 

I keep holding it there, even as Momonga stares at both me and the item with an expression of utter astonishment. Everyone else in the room seems shocked as well. So shocked that it’s written clearly on their faces.

 

“And just like I promised, it belongs to you.” I finish as Momonga continues to stare down at me.

 

How’s THAT for an first impression?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Time on the Radical Adventures of Kidd Radical for Radical Kids: Our Hero Braves the terrors of Nazarick even further and finally gets around to seeing some of those sexy maids mentioned in the last preview!


	4. Just a Whole Lot of Talking Honestly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kidd Radical and Momonga talk about game mechanics and World Items, the Idol of True Rebirth is broke dick good and the Guardians gossip like a bunch of single parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have found a beta and will be fixing chapters 1 through this one as he finishes them. Look forward to actually sensible words.

One of the things I love most about Momonga is how incredibly earnest and into things he can get when he just lets go and nerds out. Like, he’s usually super reserved and kinda stuffy. When he’s fighting people he can get into the mood and become a taunting, evil, badass overlord which is always great fun. But what I love the most is when you give him something shiny and new he’s never seen before. Momonga’s a collector, through and through. Frankly if what I’ve seen of his inventory matches up to my guesses for the rest of it he’s a hoarder who collects stuff he’ll never use as well, but it’s not like I can blame him.

 

Or that I can claim to be that different, really. I mean, I’ve got a stupid amount of Data Crystals sitting in a couple Chests of Holding. I keep meaning to make stuff with them but forging the materials is such a pain and then I have to use the creator’s tools to input a mesh and textures and everything and it’s just...

 

Anyway the point I’m getting at is that it’s great when Momonga gets super hype about something because he acts like a kid in a Candy Store when he gets something new and rare. Nothing exemplifies this further than how there’s a blast wave of pressure as Momonga moves from his position to in front of my in an instant, sending my cape and badass longcoat flapping in the wind along with everyone else’s flappable clothing and hair.

 

Man I didn’t really grasp just how intense Momonga is in this body. It’s completely different from the game. He’s taller than me by a good bit which is already a thing from the game but seeing a giant, glowing skeleton man with an ominous dark aura floating around him watching me with burning red dots of menace in his eyes is doing me a real concern, not gonna lie.

 

Still it’s Momonga so I know there’s no way he’d hurt me, which means I don’t flinch as his new, boney hands come up and the long, sharp fingers reach out to encircle the Idol of True Rebirth. Just as he’s about to take it, he pauses for a moment.

 

“Ah. But you got a World Item all on your own. I shouldn’t...” The indecisive murmur is softer and has more in common with the voice I’m used to him having than his new, booming skeleton daddy voice that he’s picked up in the world transfer.

 

I know what he’s worried about, I think. World Items are rare. RARER than RARE in fact. There’s 200 of them total, and taking one from me means that I wouldn’t have a single one. And given that World Items offer protections just by OWNING them, he’d naturally hesitate.

 

But that’s not a problem.

 

“It’s fine.” I assure him as the grin on my face widens to what most would call ‘shit-eating’ proportions, “I’ve got another World Item anyway.”

 

I can feel the shock flow through the room as Momonga’s bony visage looks surprised yet again. That’s right, little old me who only played for two years got his hands on two world items. In all honesty if I couldn’t find the Idol of True Rebirth I would have given Momonga the one that I found. It’s just that… it’s just that….

 

The one I found and I’m keeping for myself is kinda underwhelming as far as they go, and I wanted to get him a really flashy and cool one! Not that I dislike the one I’ve got or anything, it’s actually perfect for someone like me since it lets me abuse my ordinarily stupid build and turn it into something that’s actually viable.

 

“You found two World Items in so little time..?” I can hear a faint tone of disbelief in Momonga’s tone of voice. It’s not that he doubts me, it’s just that a single person accomplishing that has probably never been heard of outside of his own guild, which collected the most world items in the entire game. For someone, a single person, to have collected two on their own is probably madness to his common sense.

 

“Of course I did! Have some faith, Momonga. You taught me after all.” I can’t restrain myself, feeling my overwhelming sense of smug start to overtake me. Fight that back me, you’re in front of the people you’ve been asking him questions about for years, gotta look cool!

 

Momonga pauses only for another moment before he gently takes the Idol from my hands and holds it in front of him. The light pulsing from it shines across his boney features and for a moment I can almost see flesh and blood to go along with them… but it’s certainly just a trick of the light making me see things.

 

“Amazing, another one of the twenty in Ains Ooal Gowns collection. I wonder what that does for our rankings..?” His voice is soft as he murmurs excitably, delicately rotating the idol and looking it over from every angle, “As one of the twenty its power must be amazing, but they always have nasty drawbacks. This one...”

 

He turns his attention back to me, “Kidd, what have you ascertained about it?”

 

I feel a shot of excitement as he asks me that. It’s just like those rare times we’d hit up a serious dungeon as a two man team. Maybe not a level 100 Dungeon, but the two of us could roll a level 70 or even 80 dungeon if we were had our game faces on no problem. At first he was hesitant to rely on me, but as he taught me and I learned more on my own he’d ask me what I thought or had seen or surmised, trusting me to use the lessons learned and taught to handle the situation.

 

And one of the most important lessons is ‘learn your items’. Know EXACTLY what something you’re going to use will do, under what circumstances, in what time. How long does it take to use, can it be reflected, can it be negated, what will be immune to it, what will be resistant to it. If you don’t know all those and more, than an item is just as much a threat to you as it is to your enemy.

 

I should know, I’ve killed idiots who thought that something they had guaranteed a win. They didn’t bother to learn the items ins and outs and in the end I took their lives and their ‘guaranteed win’ from them.

 

Oh, but only from bad guys. Cool guys like me don’t go around just rolling people for their Divine Tier Items. They have to give me a REASON to roll them.

 

Like picking a fight with me. Or following me. Or harassing me.

 

I mean sure, sometimes I’d disguise myself as bait to draw in a PK to PKK them for that sweet, sweet turnabout irony but that’s just part of the game!

 

Anyway, I should probably answer Momonga’s question instead of having this internal monologue on my training and personal mores and morals!

 

“I picked up quite a bit. This thing’s a real piece of work, I can tell you that much. I’ll start with its weakness.” Momonga seems interested in me choosing to start there, and I can tell the other listeners are paying attention as well, “Firstly… it can only be used once per full lunar phase. Timing is critical, as it starts charging again at the Full Moon and finishes at the next Full Moon.”

 

Momonga is considering that, and I can see his non-existent brow furrowing. Sure, it’s a limitation and a pretty serious one but for one of the twenty it doesn’t seem like all that much. That’s where the SECOND limit comes in, and it’s the real doozy.

 

“Secondly… you CAN’T use it on yourself. You can only use it on others. If you wanted to use its powers on yourself you have to get someone else to do it. Someone you can completely trust.” My statement there has his interesting, that much is obvious.

 

Seriously it’s obvious I can actually see his red eye light things flash it’s actually super radical.

 

“Then, it’s some kind of resurrection item? Completely costless? No, that...” Momonga’s murmurs are building in excitement as his gaze leaves me for a moment to look over the item before turning his attention back to me.

 

I can feel the excitement overtaking me. I know I’m dragging out this explanation unnecessarily but you have to understand I’ve been waiting for this shit for years. I’ve been searching for a way to repay him ever since he declared me ‘good enough’ back after taking me on as an apprentice anyway.

 

“It’s character creation.” I can feel Momonga metaphorically stop breathing as I say that, “Or rather, Character Recreation. All the way back to the very beginning and your race. Not only that, but the target can keep all their levels… and reassign them at will. Every aspect of your character, every choice you made you can remake. I haven’t used it yet, but from what I surmised you might… even be able to use it to get access to time-limited classes. I’m unsure if the ‘World’ series are claimable since I haven’t had a chance to test it or anything, but...”

 

“ **Magnificent!** ” Momonga booms suddenly as he hefts the item into the air and the other figures in the room clap at Momonga’s excitement, “Such overwhelming potential! Ordinarily doing a total rebuild takes a great amount of time and effort, especially in regards to Classes that require items to unlock them. But by simply using this one could tweak and adjust their build to their hearts content once they’ve found their weaknesses or chose to emphasize their strengths. If we’d had this earlier, we could have-”

 

Momonga stops suddenly, and I barely spot a haze of color around him. What the heck is up with that?

 

“Ah.” He brings the idol back down from having presented it to the heavens, “Yes, very good. You’ve exceeded my expectations, Kidd. Though,” He glances back at me again as he continues, “I told you that you didn’t have to pay me back for anything.”

 

“You may have said that.” I agree with a nod, my grin having returned to a more normal and friendly state from its previous ‘shit-eating’ proportions, “But I still felt like I owed you. Besides, tracking down a mystery is the best part of Yggdrasil!”

 

I pause, consideringly, “...Might be ‘was’, I guess.” Time for serious discussion, so I put on my serious face and cross my arms, “Do you have any ideas what’s going on, senpai?”

 

“Hmmm, perhaps.” Momonga half-asses an answered before he turns towards the gathered forces. The Butler, who I learned was named Sebas, has joined the other six to form a formidable line of what I’ve figured out are them. You know, the ‘Guardians of Nazarick’. I’ve heard about at least some of them in my research before. It’s not like screen-caps are a thing you can take with Deep-Dive Technology or something, you know?

 

“But first, I must give my Guardians their orders!” Momonga declares and I swear you could hear all of their heels click together. Even the ones who didn’t have heels on.

 

You ever heard a gigantic ice-bug samurai click their heels? It’s impressive, let me tell you that much.

 

I listened to Momonga as he gave his orders to them, and they all made good enough sense to me. I thought he might be being overly conservative but I also appreciate how abnormal the situation we’re in must be. Still, I find it difficult to believe there’s much out there stronger than a Level 100 Player is going to be. I mean, we were capable of fighting off The World Eater’s true form last year, after all. That event was completely crazy…

 

More on the point, I am reminded of the names of these figures who I’m going to be probably spending a great deal of time around and I can finally develop a more informed opinion on them based on Momonga’s orders, their response and my own research.

 

Sebas, the Ur-Butler, l don't know much about at all. Momonga mentioned him at one point as being one the leaders of a group of Battle Maids that were in the depths of the Dungeon as 'Final Guardians' who would support Sebas in slowing the enemy. But after that he wouldn't talk about him much, and given the way he sounded about it I decided not to ask him again. I could tell even just by his voice that some old memories are left well enough alone

 

I wonder what kind of Heteromorph he is.

 

Shalltear I’m more familiar with now that my brain is getting into gear. Every report included her. Most reports included losing a number of their members and resources to her if they got past her at all. Some would manage to avoid her, but from what I gathered her location was rather central and she had a ‘hunting’ ai type so people ran the risk of getting tracked down and attacked if they didn’t take her head on. In person, she seems delightful, adorable and honestly I just want to pat her on the head she’s so cute. She casts a glance at me when she notices my attention and I think I see her smile grow just a bit more.

 

Moving on then!

 

Cocytus, the now named Ice-Bug Samurai, is the straight forward and earnest sort. He seems like a true warrior’s warrior and that’s something I can appreciate. From what I remember… he’s supposed to be a pretty nasty DPS race as far as encounters go and he’ll pull out different weapons depending on the situation. One of them is supposed to be something that shreds equipment durability, even divine tier.

 

A part of me REALLY wants to try fighting him…

 

Next are the twins, Aura and Mare! Aura is the girl in the suit, and Mare is the boy in the skirt. It’s obvious if you look at them who is the boy and who’s the girl but apparently some people struggle with that. Aura seems eager and focuses on Momonga’s orders like a particularly determined puppy, and Mare seems to be rather the same even if it’s concealed behind a layer of nervousness. These two are the dynamic duo who destroyed so many Invaders. It’s probably not out of the question that they have the highest kill count of anything in this room excluding Momonga and myself.

 

My inner collector of Mounts and Pets wants to see what kind of fun things they’ve got in their menagerie.

 

Following that is the pin-stripe suit wearing devil, Demiurge. He’s… honestly I know he’s watching me. I don’t doubt he’s paying attention to what Momonga is ordering him to do and his responses are completely on point, but I have a feeling that he’s measuring me somehow and that makes me real nervous. Plus his eyes seem to sparkle behind his glasses somehow, but I never see them. Honestly, I can’t read the guy at all.

 

I seriously want that suit of his though, gotta be honest.

 

Then there’s the last one. Albedo, the apparent Guardian Captain. Momonga… only ever talked about her a little bit, really. It was rare I got him to talk about Nazarick at all, at least in any detail. He mentioned that there was a leader of the Guardians, and when I asked him who it was he clammed up. Later he told me her name, but that was it. When I asked him about what was written about her in her bio since I figured that wasn’t a Guild Security Secret he just kinda clamped up on me. It was like he was embarrassed or something.

 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, she’s incredibly pretty and seems nothing but friendly… but my instincts just tell me I’m in danger. This isn’t like my suspicion of Demiurge, it’s different. It just feels like the longer I stay around her, the more danger I might be in. It’s what I imagine a mouse feels when it sees a snake staring it down… which is weird, since as a Level 100 player I’ve got an advantage over any NPC-

 

Actually wait, they can think now so I might not.

 

That’s kinda worrying. Good thing they’re all Nazarick NPCs so they’re sure to be loyal. At least I don’t have that to worry about. Well, as long as Momonga likes me at least.

 

“Now go forth, my Guardians, and carry out my will!” Momonga’s voice booms out, “I shall be meeting with Kidd to discuss the situation we’re in! Report to me anything out of the ordinary, without delay!”

 

All the Guardians respond in a resounding affirmative, and then Momonga puts his hand on my shoulder and oh wow we’re now someplace else jeez teleportation feels REALLY WEIRD.

 

Momonga turns and observes that we’re alone before he slumps against the wall, “Uwaaaaaah...” He lets out a sound like a forlorn horn releasing its final honk.

 

Huh.

 

-~-~-

 

There was a swirl of pressure as their Lord, Master and Supreme Being departed with his humanesque guest.

 

The Guardians remained silent for a moment before Shalltear spoke first. Her voice was light and cheerful as she began to spin her parasol, “My, that was ‘him’ wasn’t it?”

 

“Without a doubt, it was clear to see.” Demiurge brought one hand to his chin as he grinned, “That was our Absolute Master’s chosen.”

 

“TO HAVE BROUGHT OUR LORD SUCH A PRIZE IN A DISPLAY OF LOYALTY AND CAMARADERIE.” Cocytus hissed, frosty mist pouring from him as he did so, “IT WAS AN ADMIRABLE DISPLAY.”

 

“H-he seemed nice.” Mare agreed softly, fingering his staff, “Lord Momonga seemed really happy to see him...”

 

“Yeah, he really lit up! The two of them got so into talking about that thing he brought with him, it was like seeing a whole new side of Lord Momonga!” Aura seemed giddy at that, and indeed all the Guardians felt they’d received as fine a gift as a World Item to have seen their Master in such high spirits. To be so freely excited was proof of how secure he felt among them.

 

Sebas strokes his beard thoughtfully, "Physically he's a fine specimen. His speed and agility was enough to keep up with me even when I pushed this form close to its limits."

 

Albedo clapped her hands together, smiling widely at the whole group, “Before anything else, let us attend to our duties. After that, we can discuss matters further.”

 

“Of course. If I get the chance, I’ll try to speak with our Lord’s enigmatic student. It will be important going forward to understand him.” Demiurge declared his intentions plainly, drawing a raised brow.

 

“Oh my, has he drawn your attention as well Demiurge?” Shalltear’s smiled coyly as Demiurge failed to restrain his devilish grin, “I thought I felt something from him with the way he stared at me… ahh, you don’t think I’ve stolen Lord Momonga’s student’s heart, do you?”

 

Demiurge laughed, but there was no malice in it, “Not yet, I think. From the moment he arrived in the room he was measuring each of us and our potential threats… and our positions relative to Lord Momonga. I believe he was preparing himself to defend our Lord the moment he arrived if it seemed necessary. As for my interest...”

 

Demiurge simply adjusted his glasses, briefly revealing his true eyes, “It’s just an inkling of something I feel, that’s all...”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's just all talking. I swear there will be maids and more stuff going on in the next one. 
> 
> Might bust it out in one day, might not. Don't know.

**Author's Note:**

> Well there it goes. I don't know when I'll update this. Eventually? Soonish? Probably.
> 
> As an aside, I want to mention that the existence of this character isn't the only thing that has been changed in canon... but that the other chance is directly influenced by something they did in this chapter.


End file.
